im kinda taped to the ceiling
by Doc the medic
Summary: Dave Strider has been taped to his bedroom ceiling and has to ask six-year-old Mituna for help. Though he does have to pay him back... Human!stuck... Rated T for cursing. One-shot.


**i dont own homestuck**

* * *

young human!Mituna [MITUNA] joined chat.

taped to the ceiling!turntechGodhead [TG] joined chat.

TG: help

MITUNA: UMM *L00K5 UP 47 574NG3 'C00L K1D'*

TG: theres no time to explain

TG: go get an adult if you must

MITUNA: WYHYYYYYYYYYY

TG: well yknow im just taped to my ceiling

MITUNA: *R0CK5 84CK 4ND F0R7H 0N H33L5*

MITUNA: 50?/

TG: its not exactly comfortable

MITUNA: 4ND?/

TG: and dont be a little shit and help a brother out

MITUNA: YU0R PR08LLY 0NN 73H C3LLNG FR0 4 R335NN

MITUNA: 4RN77 YU0?/

TG: maybe

TG: if you must know it was a prank gone wrong

TG: horribly wrong

TG: oh so wrong

MITUNA: *4DJU575 H3LM37 5L1GH7LY* W47 H4PPNDD?/

TG: i thought it was a good idea to pull a prank on my bro

MITUNA: *G1GGL35*

TG: nothing major just the whole thumb in warm water trick

TG: he caught me but not before he pissed himself

TG: i thought

TG: i thought i was safe

TG: but i woke up this morning and here i am

MITUNA: 4DN H33 JU557 L3F7 YU0 UP 7HRR?/

TG: yes

MITUNA: *L4UGH5*

TG: dont you laugh at me

TG: my nose is itchy

MITUNA: *P01N75 4ND L4UGH5*

TG: my neck is sore

TG: this tape will rip off my nipples

TG: its not funny

TG: im in only my boxers

TG: i have hair on my arms

TG: i didnt sign up for a free waxing

MITUNA: *L0W3R5 17 70 0NLY G1GGL35*

TG: now that youre done laughing

MITUNA: W47 YU0 WN7 M33 7WW0 D0?

TG: help me

MITUNA: HWW0?/

TG: get an adult i dunno

TG: get me some scissors

MITUNA: *5M1L35*

TG: get my sword

MITUNA: 0KYY!1

MITUNA: W3RR 15 177?/

TG: theres a sword under my bed

TG: on the right side

MITUNA: *L00K5 47 83D*

TG: if you stand on my bed you should be able to toss me the sword or something

MITUNA: *W4LK5 0V3R 70 83D 4ND PULL5 0U7 5W0RD*

TG: well i dont really have functional hands

TG: so youre going to have to cut me out

MITUNA: 1LLL H3PL YU0 1FF YU0 H3LPP M33 W7H 50M7HNNG...

TG: what do you need help with

MITUNA: CR0N5U 70K0 MYY 5K4780RD 4G1N...

TG: ill get it back for you ok

TG: just get me out

TG: get me off the ceiling

MITUNA: *5M1L35*

TG: i need to use the washroom im dying here little dude come on

MITUNA: *574ND5 0N 83D 4ND 4773MP75 70 CU7 H1M 0U7*

TG: watch it

MITUNA: *H3'5 700 5H0R7*

TG: god dammit

TG: young kids

MITUNA: *F4LL5 0N70 FL00R*

TG: watch the sword!

TG: okay well

MITUNA: *5175 UPP*

MITUNA: W47 N00W?/

TG: we might need an adult or something

TG: maybe a chair

TG: i dont know

MITUNA: *FR0WN5*

MITUNA: H0WD YU0RR 8R077R G377 YU0 UP 7HRR 4NNYWYY?

TG: i dont know

TG: and i dont want to know

MITUNA: *574ND5 UP*

TG: my bro is a sicko

MITUNA: *4DJU575 H3LM37 7H47 F3LL 0U7 0F PL4C3*

MITUNA: H00 D0 1 G0 G73?/

TG: anyone who is taller than you at this point

MITUNA: MYY 8R07HRR 155 7LLRR 7HNN M33!1

MITUNA: *DR0P5 5W0RD*

TG: well get him i guess

TG: and kid what did i say about the sword

MITUNA: *5M1L35 83F0R3 N0DD1NG 4ND W4LK1NG 0U7 0F R00M, R37URN1NG 4 F3W M1NU735 L473R W17H 50LLUX*

young human!Mituna [MITUNA] is now twinArmageddons [TA].

TG: yo dude

TG: gimme a hand

TA: quiite a prediicament you got your2elf iin huh?

TG: yeah yeah no need to rub it in or nothing

TA: *look2 around room before piickiing up the 2word*

TG: if you stab me with it ill kill you

TA: Yeah yeah whatever, tuna told me all about thii2...

TG: it wasnt my fault

TA: you 2ure you want me to cut you out though?

TA: becau2e iim not catchiing you.

TG: of course im sure

TG: ill just land on the bed

TA: *look2 at bed*

TA: youd have to fall diiagonally to do that...

TA: but whatever

TG: ill find a way

TA: *cut2 2iide of tape*

TA: whyd you giive liittle tuna a 2word anyway?

TG: oh dear

TG: last resort

TA: he2 liike 2iix

TG: im desperate

TG: i need to pee

TG: ive been up here for hours

TA: uhh huh...

TA: howd tuna even get iin your room anyway...

TG: i dont know and i dont care im just glad to be free

TA: *cut2 other 2iide of tape*

TG: *flailing*

TG: *well more like wiggling*

TA: you are goiing to help out tuna wiith cronu2 riight? *he a2k2 after dave land2*

TG: sure

TG: why dont you do it though

TA: oh no way man

TA: you got your2elf iinto thii2

TA: tuna nee2 payment

TA: help out the tuna

TA: *leave2*

twinArmageddons [TA] is now young human!Mituna [MITUNA].

TG: alright kid

MITUNA: *W4LK5 0V3R 70 733N*

TG: you might want to turn around while i rip tape off myself

MITUNA: W4755 YU0RR N4M 4G1N?/ *7URN5 4R0UND*

TG: dave

TG: *loud screaming as he slowly removes his arms from the tape*

MITUNA: *L00K5 47 53LF135 0N W4LL* UH HUH *1GN0R35 5CR34M1NG*

TG: *takes tape off rest of body with a loud scream*

MITUNA: YU0RR 4 WMP

TG: shut up kid you dont even have chest hair

TG: i dont have any either now

MITUNA: N0 87U 1 FL4L 0VR 4LL 7HH3 7M13... *MU773R5*

TG: is that why you have a helmet

MITUNA: Y33H

MITUNA: 7ULP1 M4DD M33 574R77 W33RNG 0NN3...

MITUNA: 4F77R 1 57RR7D F4LLNG 0VRR 4LL 7HH3 71MM3

TG: tulip?

MITUNA: 0NN3 0FF MY FR3ND55

TG: oh

TG: shes smart

MITUNA: HRR 4NND KURRL0ZZ 8073 717 FR0 M33

MITUNA: *F1DDL35 W17H F1NG3R5*

TG: thats sweet of them

TG: is tulip your girlfriend

MITUNA: N0!11 *W1P5 H34D 4R0UND T0 L00K 4T H1M*

MITUNA: G1RRL5 4RR3 7W00 1CCKYY 7W00 D47733

TG: omg

TG: she so is

TG: *puts on shirt*

MITUNA: N0N0N0N0N0N0

TG: you sure about that kid

TG: *puts on pants*

MITUNA: Y53555

TG: you sure youre sure

TG: *fixes hair and shades*

MITUNA: Y333555 4NND MYY N4MM5 MM7UUN444!1

TG: well tuna

MITUNA: HM

TG: apparently i have to get your skateboard back

MITUNA: Y3555!1 *5M1L35*

MITUNA: CR0N5U 7000K 7177 7H3 4555H477...

TG: hey i get your upset but no fucking swearing

TG: youre too young

MITUNA: 50LLX 5W33R55

TG: yeah and youre not him

TG: so clam it

MITUNA: *P0U75*

TG: no pouting

MITUNA: *P0U75 3V3N M0R3*

TG: what did i just say kid

TG: no pouts

MITUNA: ...

TG: now lets go get that skateboard

MITUNA: *P3RK5 UP*

MITUNA: 0KKYY

TG: okay

MITUNA: 1 7HNNK H335 447 7HH3 P4RRK FL11R77NG W177H M33NHH

TG: well lets get going then i guess

MITUNA: *7R4V3L5 70 7H3 P4RK*

TG: *hella traveling goes down*

MITUNA: 4RR3 YU0 G0NNN4 K1KC H1155 4555?/

TG: no im not *ignoring the cursing*

TG: im just going to take it while hes not looking

MITUNA: WYHYYYYYYY *WH1N35*

TG: because hurting kids is wrong

MITUNA: 8U7 CR0N55U55 1NN H1GHH 5CCH00L

MITUNA: D00 YU0 N07 N0W H11MM?

TG: oh god is it that cronus

MITUNA: Y335555!1

TG: oh god ew

TG: hes the fake smoker greaser wannabe

TG: ick

MITUNA: 500 YU00LL K1KC H155 4555?/

MITUNA: *5M1L35 H0P3FULLY*

TG: maybe

TG: just maybe

TG: probably

MITUNA: Y35555 *7RY5 F157 PUMP1NG 8U7 F41L5 4LL 3P1C L1K3*

MITUNA: *D035N'7 C4R3*

MITUNA: YU0RR R333LY R44D D4V3!1

TG: ha thanks kid

MITUNA: *HUG5 D4V3'5 W4157*

TG: *pats tunas head*

TG: not too bad yourself kid

TG: not too bad at all

MITUNA: *5M1L3 4ND R3L34535 H1M*

MITUNA: *4RR1V3 47 P4RK*

TG: alright kid we got a skateboard to steal

MITUNA: 4NND 4 GR335RR 7W00 8337 UPP

TG: we might not have to rough him up too much

MITUNA: 0KY...

young human!Mituna [MITUNA] is now the 'asshat'!Cronus [CRONUS].

CRONUS: ((perfect name...))

TG: ((totes ))

TG: alright well

TG: cronus right

CRONUS: yes, wvho wvants to knowv?

TG: dave

TG: im dave

TG: but not really important

CRONUS: *pretend to think* nevwer heard of you

TG: trust me i never heard of you until about 5 minutes ago

CRONUS: if thats true your not important, no

TG: youre not all big yourself wannabe

TG: anyway give the skateboard back and no fighting needs to go down

CRONUS: *ignore him and notice mituna* so the punk couldnt get the board back himself so he got you to do it?

TG: hes like 6

CRONUS: lame

CRONUS: no excuse

CRONUS: lame

TG: youre lame

CRONUS: oh but im not

TG: youre some wannabe greaser

TG: you aint shit dude

TG: now give back the board

CRONUS: *ignoring the demand he takes out cigarette he wvas chewving on* if thats wvhat i am wvhat are you?

CRONUS: *drops it in ash tray*

TG: a guy who is about to kick your ass

CRONUS: pfft

TG: what are you laughing at

CRONUS: i wvould like to see your reasoning behind it

TG: what is that supposed to mean

CRONUS: wvhat the little fuck givwe you to make you wvant to 'beat me up'?

TG: nothing

CRONUS: uhh huh

TG: i just want the board

CRONUS: i dont believwe you

CRONUS: wvhat do you owve him?

TG: nothing

CRONUS: tell me wvhat makes you wvant to beat me up and the boards yours... *look at dirt under nails*

TG: i owe the kid a favor

TG: now can we hurry this up

TG: hand over the board

CRONUS: wvhat kind of favwor? wvhat could this ret- i uh mean kid do for you?

TG: i was in a predicament

CRONUS: *raises an eyebrowv*

CRONUS: wvhat kind of predicament?

TG: i was taped to my ceiling

CRONUS: *pauses for a second before laughs*

CRONUS: howvd the r- kid help you there?

TG: *sighs*

CRONUS: no man im gonna givwe the board back but all you havwe to do is tell me

TG: he got his brother and his brother cut the tape

CRONUS: wvhy wvere you taped to the ceiling?

TG: my bro put me up there

CRONUS: oh...kay...

TG: now just hand over the god damn skate board

CRONUS: *takes out slightly banged up skateboard and givwes it to davwe* here ya go 'pal' and see you later tunafish

CRONUS: *wvalks awvay*

the 'asshat'!Cronus [CRONUS] is now young human!Mituna [MITUNA].

TG: that was easier than expected

MITUNA: *5L1GH7LY 7W17CH35*

TG: *hands him the skateboard*

MITUNA: YU0LLL H3PL M33 07U 4G1N 1FF H3 74K55 17 4G1N R17?/ *45K5 QU137LY 45 H3 74K35 804RD*

TG: sure

MITUNA: *5M1L35 4ND G375 0N 5K473804RD*

TG: see ya kid

MITUNA: 8YY D4V3V3! *HUG5 H1M 4R0UND W4157 4G41N*

MITUNA AND TG: *PART WAYS*

* * *

**okay so that's the end.**

**tell me what you think yadda yadda yadda...**


End file.
